Smiling under the dim light

They say rain in Melbourne, is what we call a baby drizzle back home here in Kuala Lumpur. After experiencing some 'rain' on a few occassions in Melbourne, I couldn't agree more =) But on my last night of my cut-short holiday, it was actually pouring, like back here in KL. The forecast for that day had been rainy, but it was actually quite a beautiful and windy day; until late evening, when it begun to pour. What a sendoff! An early 'Welcome Home to KL' huh?

And then it came...the day, 3 weeks in advance, that I was going home. Would home be the 'same' as when I left it? I was more than happy to answer God's calling to return, and anxious to meet the ones I love back home. But I'm human too, and of course there was also a little part of me that wished I could have stayed longer at a place that I really enjoyed being at, a holiday that I wanted to stay on longer, and me wishing that MY holiday could be the way I wanted. However, God called; and He also reminded me that there were far greater reasons to be home, and I trusted that He had His reasons and plans. So MY wants didn't matter, compared to what He had in store for me. I knew that I was needed at home too, and I really wanted to be here to fulfill whatever needs were required of me. I'd have it no other way.

I experienced, for the first time, a bit of difficulty re-adjusting back to the heat and humidity of being so near the equator. I must be getting old! I also expected the stress level from the hustle and bustle of KL life to gradually mount but by God's grace, I've been able to stay practically calm and laidback, as I was in Melbourne, since I came home. God really is great. If He can reel you into a position that He plans for you to be, you can rest assured that He will provide you with whatever you need to go through whatever He sets you up to do.



For 2 and a half weeks that I've been back, things have begun to fall into place even better than ever before. This holiday that I had, although shorter than expected; provided me with everything I had set out to get out from, before I left home. Since I've been home, I've felt God's presence very strongly in my life - around me, in my heart, in the changes I've been able to make, in the people that I meet, in the things that I do or do not do, and in the way I think too.

I'm not perfect. Heck, I'm not even close to being half-changed. But every day is a different experience and adventure for me. I'm trying to implement that aspect in my life as I experienced in Australia. A change of scenery, climate and life was good for the soul. Seeing different kinds of annoying people at a different hectic city was a nice for a change. Alright, Melbourne city isn't quite as hectic as KL of course. People in Australia are also way more laid back than Malaysians, but; the city isn't ghost town at nightfall (which occurs early in winter, 5pm onwards!) either. There were sirens all day - the cops, the firemen or the ambulance. That's city life for you. Anyway, back to me not being perfect... Yeah, you can't expect to change 20+ years of being the old me, overnight right? Change is constant. I believe I've at least begun a journey, and although there are times I could have faltered and I have struggled; I still am on this hike path.

All in all, God's been a constant. Sure, there are times when I am not at my faithful best. I make mistakes, I fail to resist temptations, I have things to change that some, more charasmatic Christians might crucify me for; but hey, it's not about being the 'perfect Christian' but being a Christian who realises he isn't there but will hunger for Christ. Of course, I don't use this as my lame excuse every time I do something not so holy, but in a nutshell, that's how it really is - admitting that we are broken only highlights that we humble ourselves enough to open our hearts to welcome our Maker.

I thank my Creator, I really do. Today, it really does feel that after my trip, I begin to see glimpses of how things can and should be. The best part is, with my change, and with me putting effort to do certain things differently and to be more selfless with every passing day; I begin to also influence some change in not just my life, but others as well. And to think that, for some bit parts, the human side of me was about to lament more than celebrate God's will. I can't help but sit here, under my dim table light, smiling gratefully. God sure has His plans for me. I've trusted for 3 years now, I see no reason to stop trusting now...