Way overdue..

Alright alright...admittedly, it has been A LONG TIME. *dusts off* *ahem* I've had a fleet of people ask me countless times about the blog and why I haven't updated. I shall not make myself sound as if I've got some excuse up my sleeve :)

Instead, I'll try to post up some of the thoughts and ideas I have had planned for this blog, as best I can. Photographs have to wait though! First, I haven't the time to edit some of the photos, and also am having some space and speed difficulty with my computer, can't really edit photos currently.

UPDATE:

4 months ago (YES! 4 months ago! It's been THAT LONG), I landed my dream job of being a documentary filmmaker with this place. After my first month, I was going to write a nice blog entry about the wonderful experience I've had thus far and how much I enjoy my work for the first time in my life, and how wonderful my employers are. FORWARD 4 months, and I still reiterate those sentiments though (phew huh!) and have so much more experience and also wonderful times and stories to share (another time though!). I've gone in the past 3 months, from city to jungle, jungle to forest, forest to island, island to village, village to mountain, mountain to air, air to water, water back to land. I've been away mostly, hence the absence from this blog too.

Chapters open, chapters close. Cest la vie as they say.

I'm loving every moment of being my dearest cherub, Elysia's Godpapa. I miss her all the time on my travels.

I MISS everyone here at home - my family, close friends, Church community wherever I am and wherever I go.

Rainbows, blue skies, bright sun, puffy clouds - I have always loved them. I love them even more now :)

SO SO SO much more to share...but I'll take my leave now to spend some time with my best friend and brother, James; as we watch Argentina whoop Germany's behind tonight (bold prediction, but if I am wrong, well...I do reserve my right to have an opinion!). Woo Hoo!!

I leave with just ONE picture, as I begin a new phase of sorts, and it may come as a surprise to some, and it still is an adjustment for me - I'm clean shaven again for the first time in 4 years!! Yes...I took even the goatee off ;)



I promised to blog, so here it is. I definately will try to be more comprehensive and share more soon. Look forward to it. For now, LEAVE ME ALONE! :) *just kidding* Must admit the rustiness I feel blogging after so long, feels like I'm learning it all over again! *big smile*

Fruits of Grace

She took it bad when our suspicions became a reality. Till today, she still does in some way, though God is helping her gradually to become more forgiving and gracious. But then, back in late 2001 when we had gone to see her during her convocation, my sister took the news that we had a half-sister pretty bad.

Forward to present day, we not only have her, but we also have a half-brother. My parents were divorced sometime around 1998, but me and my sister had seen it coming since we were little children. He remarried and has a new family.

I must admit, that although I didn't take it as badly as my sister (a surprise, due to my temperament), we were still both not very kind with our views on them. I am not proud of my old self, when I labelled them as the 'lower breed' and ourselves as the untouchable 'higher breed'.

But with Jesus, everything changes :) If there is anyone who can change a person, it's God. Since that time, and since coming to Christ, I've been much better with children, I spend a lot of time with them, talking and playing and caring for them. It was no surprise then, that recently, when I got to see my 2 half siblings again, they instantly warmed up to me. It helped also that they now understand English as they are older. Chin Peng (the girl) is 6 and Chin Yue (the boy) is 3.

When I was little, I always wanted my mum to give me 2 more siblings - a boy and a girl. How 'naughty' God is sometimes with granting our wishes :) My sister still struggles to be around kids (she 'dislikes' children! Haha), but I know the children love her too. Slowly but surely, God is helping my sister let go of the anger and disappointment. It sometimes is still hard for her.

Mum's the most amazing lady ever. She is another walking testimony of God; forgiving and gracious. She has accepted and forgiven my dad and his new wife, as well as taken into the children with absolute love since day 1. That's God's Grace right there if you asked me!

My dad and his wife are both very blessed too. Dad didn't marry a psycho lady who was not understanding and possesive, the kind who'd tear families apart. His wife however, has never been ostracized whenever she's met us or the times she's met extended family; especially during Chinese New Year recently. My mum even goes out of her way to make her feel at home and involved in conversations.

I've been asked by my aunts, on how I felt about my half-siblings. This is what I can say - It is NOT their fault, what has happened in the past. They did not ask for this to happen and as children of God, I'll love them as anyone else should, the way they deserve to be loved as children. Yes, I used to have stigma towards them. I don't anymore. When I look at them, I smile. Although they aren't my siblings in full, they have the same blood as I do. I am their older brother nevertheless. At the end of the day, this is NOT my will, but His.

They are not, and never will be the same as us in many ways. Although my sister detests being labelled a 'family' including them still, we are however all one in God's Kingdom. That's the best way I can think of it.

Nothing can change the past mistakes. But God has been gracious to whomever are concerned. That includes me and my sister.

Early Blossom

I love this picture. *Courtesy of her father.
Pastor's daughter, my God-daughter. I pray this picture is a sign that she will continue to grow to love God and to seek His Word, the Holy Bible always.

Thumbelina's Baptism :)

**Photos taken by James Tan Chin Choy**
More photos here.

This one's for the children

I'm realising more and more, just how much I've 'grown up' and how quickly time is passing by and life is coming at me. I never could imagine hearing myself declare that I'll be turning 27 this year (not that I didn't think i'd live this long!), but that time just seems to have come too fast!


(L) CNY w/ my Goddaughter Elysia. (R) With my half siblings and niece.

As time passes, I realise my responsibilities are varied. I'll be a Godfather in a few weeks time, and during this CNY, I got to see a niece of mine that I only met once before this; and coming to grips that I'm an uncle hasn't previously sunk in either! I see the people around me who used to be younger, and I see them with children and all, I know i'm getting OLD.

But these are all roles that I relish, irregardless how alien it initially feels. I've also improved, being around children, since I became a Christian. I definately am not ready to care for them on a full-time basis yet or handle them like a kindergarden teacher can, but at least they don't run away from me now, and I don't act like a total clueless idiot when they're around either :) Besides, being around them teaches me a lot about myself and it helps me better my personality. In short, they make me a better person.


(L-R) My half-sister Chin Peng, the lil cutie niece of mine Jocelyn and me.

Elation

I had heard in the past week, that my church was preparing for another baby baptism soon, and the 2 babies who are going to be baptised are Natasha and Elysia (pictured). Elysia's my Pastor's daughter, and she's been featured in this blog before. Me and Jo were among the first to visit Sivin, May Chin and then newly-born Elysia at the hospital. We've since felt a closer bond with their children, as our friendship with the parents have also grown.

Yesterday at church, Sivin told me with his usual 'up-to-something' tone and grin, that May Chin had something serious for me. "Something serious for me?", I asked with a suspicious and amused smile. I continued digging into the refreshments with other church friends. Then when I walked back into the main sanctuary, May Chin calls me over to ask me if I'd like to be Elysia's Godfather.

...

May Chin asked me also to pray about it if I wasn't sure of my reply. No need! I was absolutely elated and honoured. There wasn't a need to pray to make my decision, but there of course is the need to keep praying for wisdom and guidance, as well as to give thanks for the wonderful honour =)

So YES. That was my answer. Soon, I'll be a Godfather, proper, in Lutheran tradition =) I'm not an old Godfather too! Hehehe...

God of Justice

The words of this song resonate what I've been hearing quite a bit about lately, through my pastor, in church and also within myself as I came out of 2005 and pondered 2006 and the future.

I found the song for listening here if you are interested. I like the version we sing in church though. It's similar to this, minus the confusing time signature. But do take a listen and let the Spirit work in your heart.


"God of Justice, Saviour to all
Came to rescue the weak and the poor
Chose to serve and not be served

Jesus, You have called us
Freely we’ve received
Now freely we will give

We must go
Live to feed the hungry
Stand beside the broken
We must go

Stepping forward
Keep us from just singing
Move us into action
We must go

To act justly everyday
Loving mercy in everyway
Walking humbly before You God

You have shown us, what You require
Freely we’ve received
Now freely we will give

We must go
Live to feed the hungry
Stand beside the broken
We must go

Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out Lord"

God's on the move... Let's move with Him if we haven't, from now..

Blessed Christmas & New Year!

Too Sexy

Shortly after graduating in early 2003, I got to know Sarah through (I don't remember where and how!), and we corresponded via email about producing indie short films together. We never got down to doing that, so we never met.

Sarah @ Saer Ze, is an indie elektro-pop singer/artiste (Read more about her on her website) who sends out a monthly newsletter to everyone on her mailing list about her music and other stuff. I've been receiving this newsletter since 2003. *Listen to her music here*

Forward to a month ago, I had received yet another newsletter from her. Added her on myspace.com and just popped her a message to ask her what's up etc. and before we knew it, we were talking on MSN about doing a music video for her first single, 'Too Sexy'.



I didn't mind helping on a pro-bono shoot like this, coz we had an interesting singer to shoot, with an interesting story etc. Sounded like a whole ton of fun (it eventually really was!) and I didn't mind helping a hardworking indie artiste. We only really begun work on the video just 2 weeks before the shoot day (last Saturday), and kudos goes to everyone who volunteered to help as art department (Tersh, Jody), as production multitaskers (Diana, Leng, Yasmeen), as talents (everyone inclusive of my Jo and her sister Jocelyn), Sarah herself and even last minute help from people like Aaron and Michelle.



Really thankful for all the help from friends like Jon and Yu Ming, for helping out with equipment and post-production. Just got the footage all digitized 2 days ago and begun cutting an offline yesterday. I must say that I'm as excited as everyone in seeing the final outcome!! It's only begun and it already looks promising and funny! I look forward to the final product with great anticipation and minimal (hopefully) expectations ;) Check this space for more updates, and if I do not update here, feel free to ask me about it hehehe.

The Return

Yesterday evening (after I hounded the Canon website on Sunday night, and the operators at the service centre in the morning), I finally received a phone call from the Canon technician, asking me to collect my camera today. I am just ecstatic at finally having my camera back! =) I missed it so much and at certain moments in the past 2 weeks, it was certainly agonising not having it. Good thing I was kept quite busy =P But still.. *grumbles* Cost me RM125 to replace the LCD that was faulty. Apparently no service charge, only paid for the new part. Yeah right, sure..

Not having the camera for 2 weeks made me think a little in certain perspectives. I just remembered how as a Christ follower, I am blessed with something called GRACE. I certainly appreciate my camera even more now (not that I didn't before =P), holding it, taking photos with it, having it in my pouch again, and looking through a working LCD again; all has a fresh new view and meaning to it. When we are deprived of something for a while, when finally we are gifted that something again, that feeling...

I also want to quickly put up some of my favourite scenery type photos from my trip to Australia a few months back, just as I promised but never got down to doing it =) They're not fantastic photos, unlike some I've seen people putting up online; but I hope everyone enjoys them!

Camera-less

=(

For the first time since I got my Canon Powershot G5 in 2003, I'm going to be without it; for 2 weeks at least! And fittingly, for the first time (in a long while) since I learnt how to post blog entries with the usage of photographs; I'm going to post without any photograph.

Last Friday night, to my disappointment; I discovered that the LCD on my camera was not functioning. I don't know what's wrong with it but the camera has served me very well up till now, without many hitches. I hope it's alright ='(

Sent it to the Canon service centre in Saujana, Subang/Shah Alam; and met an old man who was sending his Canon Powershot G3 in with the same problem. A technical fault Canon should look into perhaps?

I hope it will not cost me a lot to get my camera fixed, and more importantly, I hope I get my camera back soon!

Children of Christ

Yes we are...

United with purpose

We may have lots of friends, but as the cliche goes; good friends are hard to come by, let alone true friends. In the time I've been blessed on this earth, God has put me among many many friends throughout. I've met and made many good friends in my time, but as time passes, sometimes things change. People change, our surroundings change, the things we want, need and desire change...

I have a few sets of really good friends today, friends I see and hang out with often, friends I consider myself close to and try my best to see as often as I can, and even Jo's friends are my friends today. God really has blessed me in this regard and I am thankful for all the friends I know.


Recently, I found myself befriending Aaron, Kevin and Jess. It's been such a priviledge to be friends with people who share the same faith and have a united drive and purpose in life. I'm happy that we can share our lives with each other, affirm and encourage each other. The best part is, my best friends happen to be friends with them too =) What a small world indeed...

Kevin's currently in Croatia for a month on a training stint, and Jess is in Banda Aceh representing World Vision Malaysia for 3 months on a working trip. I pray that they'll be safe and our good Lord keeps them and protects them always...

Adoration

Some time earlier in the year, when I wrote an entry about Sivin being the doting father with Gareth; they were expecting baby Elysia anytime then.


Forward many months ahead, and little Elysia has been part of our lives for some time already. She's absolutely adorable and I somehow have a soft spot for the little one. Sometimes, we think it's because I went to see her at the hospital when she was born; but we also think it's 'cause she's probably a baby girl. Sivin once said somewhere that baby girls are special. I gotta agree with that, although girls will say that baby boys are special. I guess we are all special =)

Surface highlights

I know the pictures aren't great, and they do look bland because I didn't treat them on photoshop but I've uploaded them to point out just how beautiful photographs look especially in the sunny mornings, and especially when there is natural sunlight.

On my last Thursday or Friday in Melbourne, I took a morning walk in the chilly climate, to Brunswick Street from the city. Brunswick Street is on the fringe of the city and I had to walk through Carlton Gardens, my favourite gardens in the city. It was such a 'lousy', cloud and gloomy morning; and none of the photographs I took could look nice. There's nothing better than a photograph with blue skies and nice morning sunlight hitting right on the object you're pointing that camera at =) So I had to settle for the first photo of that tree on my way to Brunswick Street.

After a few hours at Brunswick Street, I headed back to the city on foot and passed by the garden again with the bright afternoon sunshine above my head and fairly clear blue skies. I thought I'd have a go with the photo of the tree again and true enough, I had a much better picture than the first one I took =)

The Good News

Something really powerful happened last night. In the wake of yet another natural disaster, my other half felt a strong call by our Maker, to wake up from a slumber. I say 'a slumber' as a referral to a phase. She was quick to share it with me, as with everything else. Although our little discussion didn't go quite as we'd have liked, it however did rub off on me and I spent my time from then till now; still in prayer, reflection and thought.

After getting her permission, I decided I would share with you, what I feel is a very simple YET powerful email, by her to her closest friends:

I just realised that if I knew of a free gift, or a discount or a sale, I'd share it with you guys. When I found love, I yelled to tell you guys...and it's the same for all of you. But when it comes to God and religion, we all don't say much. We never did; to save our friendships.

At the rate natural disasters are happening all over the world, it wouldn't be extreme to say that maybe we're closer than ever to the end.

This email isn't to debate or to start an argument, but I just want to share with you how God has worked in my life, how He has answered every prayer, and how He has guided my entire life. I am the person I am because of His blessings, my entire family is. From the time my sister was born as a miracle, to the times I had no money in Perth and just like that He sent money through friends, and gave me not one job but countless opportunities, how He protected me from being hurt in the car accident.

There are countless testimonies to share with all of you, but for fear of embarassing myself or losing your friendship, I kept quiet.

I find peace in Him, and I found myself in Him, and the whole world is put into perspective because of His greatness. God is really real, but too often we allow science and technology to cloud us.

I'm afraid of what you may think of me for sending this out, but I'm more afraid of not saying anything when I have the chance to.

At the 'Prayer Breakfast' this morning at church, I felt a very strong urge to open up and pray.

"Lord, I call out to you Father, as I feel a strong sense to remember and pray for, all who have suffered the natural disasters that have befallen our world this year. From the Tsunami, to the Hurricanes, the typhoon and now, the earthquake again. Father, we ask for your presence and protection be upon all victims of these disasters O'Lord. Lord, your hand of healing be upon the broken and suffering. Father, we pray that provisions in the form of medicine, food and shelter are flowing in to the ones in need and we also pray for those who are there, although not affected as victims, but are there to help; that Father, you provide them with the strength and equip them with what they need, to be of help there.

Father, they say that the end times are near. End times or not Father, I just feel this strong feeling in me to pray for everyone of us to remember just what we've been put here for. I pray we remember why we were saved by You in the first place, why You have chosen us in the first place; even before we chose You. Father, thank You for challenging me, for challenging all of us; to remember our roles as Christ followers in this world. Lord, often we get caught up in our own little worlds, that we even forget to be walking testimonies to our closest friends. Lord, forgive us. Father, we just want to pray that you will fill us with Your Spirit and drive us toward being worthy testimonies to the lives we are put among every single day. Let us not wait till end times to make a difference. Help us Father, to make a difference every single day. Lord Jesus, as Your Father has sent You, You have sent us... Thank You Father, we pray You continue to be with us. Lord, help us as we cannot do this without you...

In Jesus' name I pray, Amen."

Friends, and to whoever who reads this blog; this is not a 'preachy' blog entry. It's just the truth, and how my life has changed from before till today. And I want so much to share this truth with anyone. I ain't perfect as I've stated before many times, but I am trying to make my life fit the one that God has paved for me; and NOT make God accomodate me. And even IF I was being preachy, well, it's my blog and I can do whatever I want! Hehe..just kidding.

I know there will be many eyes rolling, or people might shy away and walk away from these things or people such as myself now that I'm a Christ follower; or some might say that "all religions lead to one God", or some might say that they don't believe in God, or don't know how to believe in God, or some might need some sort of scientific proof or might need something tangibly miraculous to happen before they can grasp that God is real...

There are just so many theories, so many questions, so many assumptions, so many views, debates, arguments and choices. That's just life isn't it?

I've been a Christian for almost 3 and half years now, and countless friends, from all over, have said to me just how much I've changed from before. Yes friends, I truly have. I'm still me in many regards, but also an improved version I would like to think. I'm not the finished article though. I don't think I ever will be till I die, but I'd like to be close to that. That finished article would be as Christ-like as possible. I'd like to think of myself as a Modified: Type-God version of my old self. Why not?

Many times I've slipped it in conversations, in the things I do, or talk about, or the way I behave. I try not to be too up-front for the fear of being treated by my friends the same way I treated certain Christians in the past, before my salvation. But the Good News of God, the Gospel; is too good to not be shared to others.

With this entry, I'm not going to be able to put everything into it. But, what I can do is make a start and make a stand; to share how God has saved my life, how He's blessed me, guided me, moulded me; and how He can do the same for you. I too am afraid of offending, or losing anyone because of what I'm sharing; BUT, I fear more what might happen if I do NOT do anything with what our Maker has blessed me with and share it with you, whether the end time comes or not.

I have lots of stories and testimonies to share, as I had cartoon stories, ghost stories or stupid stories, growing up. But these are stories of my life and lives that have touched me and helped me connect with God better, that I wish to share. I never thought of my life being a powerful tool, catalyst and testimony to other lives; even though it's clearly stated in the Bible and there are so many reminders ranging from books to preachers. But today, today I've realised through another person, just how powerful my testimony is and can be.

God IS real and He is good, all the time. I had all sorts of logical theories before too. I was just like many people who are not Christ followers. So on a lighter note, you could say that I was from the dark side, and now that I'm on the light side, I've seen both worlds. My experiences are from both ends, and I chose to place my trust and faith in a God I haven't tangibly met in person, or have I? ;) God is real. And I must say to my friends, as I've heard more than one speaker say, "I promise you that when you come to Church (God's people coming together, not the building called Church ok!), there will be something for you. That's a sure promise. What is that something, or some things, that's up to God to decide. But that is by no means an empty promise. I assure you my friends, if you come to the place where we meet God, you WILL find something for you."

So my friends...whoever you are, wherever you are, however you are...I hope by saying something today, it gives us more to say and share, the next time we do meet; whether in cyberspace, on the telephone, or in person. Don't worry, we don't have to go to my church, or meet my pastor (who's a terrific guy and friend btw!) or listen to whatever Gospel music. It's not different from talking to me or meeting me as we've always met. I come as I am, no strings attached.

God bless you and keep you =) Shalom.

Unparalelled

For a couple of months or so now, I've procrastinated in putting this entry up. Before their wedding, and before she came over to Malaysia to be with him, I used to send Takeshi to the Central Market bus stop or to Bangsar LRT station after church on Sundays; so that he could take his bus back to Seremban, where he studies at STM.

Today, I had the privilege of sending them both again after lunch. One thing that I've noticed about both of them from the start, is just how polite they are. Talk about discipline and manners; they are at it's ideal. I've never seen anyone bow as much as Takeshi! He must bow at least 5 times just saying hello to a person =)

Oh, back to sending them off.. I notice their gratitude whenever I send them to the station. I felt awkward a couple of times, because the way they thank a person, makes you feel unworthy of such gratitude! I get goose bumps just having my heart warmed by the fact that they actually stand waving at the sidewalk, from the time you drop them, all the way till you are out of sight! It gives me a very warm feeling everytime I drive away, looking at my rear view mirror and waving back at them. You can rest assured they'd be standing there waving goodbye. They wouldn't just walk away right after being dropped off. How often do you see that with close friends even sometimes?

It's probably not a big deal to many, but it's a nice thing to experience and to see. Here's to a sweet, polite, soft-spoken yet fun-loving couple, Takeshi and his Korean wife Vicky! Oh btw, she's Korean and he's Japanese and yet they have made their loving marriage a reality, definately a testament of their personalities to have made it work, against odds.